Seeing in the dark

Photo by Benjamin Balázs on Unsplash

When I rise before the sun, I have the habit of not turning on any lights. It’s harsh on my eyes. But without artificial light, I must remember where things are so I don’t stub my toe or knock something over. When I open the drawer that holds my toothbrush, I can grope around frustrated looking for it. Or, I patiently notice when I’ve found it by its familiar shape and feel – ahh yes, there it is. I know it when I feel it. 

Groping around in the darkness of these days can get me frustrated. My mind is searching for a sign, an assurance of newness coming; that the wearisome darkness will not last. The more determined I am to see, the more discouraged I can become. I can use artificial light and grab onto things I think I need. Or, I can patiently notice in the dark, knowing the hope and promise of God’s presence when I feel it… 

            in the joyful laughter of children
            faces dear to me on zoom
            waving hello to a neighbor
            a sibling’s voice on the phone
            my hands wrapped around a warm Christmas mug that reminds me of my mother
            the golden light of the setting sun making last leaves of autumn glow oh so brilliant
            receiving the words I love you
            this moment with you.

The Light will come on its own in due time. It always does. And in the meantime, my heart knows the hope and promise of God’s presence when I feel it.

The Light shines in the darkness
and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:5

Open the eyes of our hearts, Lord. Illumine our minds with calm and direction. Let us notice the way as we walk in the dark. Amen.

in this together…